I Don't Care
by DontHateMeCuzImBeautiful
Summary: Leah Clearwater had her true love torn from her because of his past, present, and future. Though she's trying to pick up the pieces, it's not easy to deal with the suffering that comes with unrequited love...


**_Disclaimer: _**I don't own anything; Stephenie has her claim on the sad, miserable, and lonely girl who tries unsuccessfully not to care

**A/N: **So...I've been going through this little bit for a while in my mind now but never got the courage (or the words) to put it down on paper. I've just always wanted to know what Leah was going through after Sam left her for Emily. Yeah, we know it's all incredibly sad, but Leah is painted as kind of the bad guy in a lot of fics as well as in Eclipse/Breaking Dawn. I really wanted to portray her feelings afterward and shed a little light on her emotions. She's sad, but there's so much more under the surface as well...

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_**I Don't Care**_

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_I don't care…_

_I don't care…_

_I don't care…_

She repeats the mantra over and over, praying that at any moment it will come true. Yet every time she repeats the now empty words, a miserably happy pokes to the surface to prove her wrong.

"I don't care…"

_The two of them are hanging out at her house under her parents' watchful gaze as they joke and laugh about life, people, and all the things that make them unhappy outside of each other's presence…_

"I don't care…"

_Though they splash aimlessly on the beach, surrounded by the boys, their friends, her new friends, and half of La Push, it feels as though they are all alone in the freezing churn of waves while his body heat keeps her warm…_

"I don't care…"

_He makes a promise not to ever hurt her, and though he breaks his promise the very next day, his apology and raw sadness at seeing her unhappy sends her back into his arms without a second thought…_

"I don't care…!"

_A million emotions careen through her as he locks eyes on _her, _the stranger he knows for two seconds but suddenly loves more than he's ever loved the one who loved him first…_

"_I don't care_!"

She freezes in her tracks, vaguely recognizing the now familiar tears racing down her face. For a long moment she allows them to cascade from within her, a sort of memorial to the way things were before things were twisted and corrupted in such a way that she could never believe they were ever anyway before.

But that's just it: she still remembers. If she could pretend that he was just a heartless bastard that set out to break her heart from the beginning, she could probably handle it better. Anger was so much easier to deal with than the pain she was going through now. To know that he wasn't like that, that the reason behind her losing everything she ever knew wasn't him at all, but the past, was more than she could stand.

And really, what kind of sick bullshit was that? His great great whatever the hell was a 'protector', so they had to force _him _to take the old man's place? Did the stupid chiefs from Indian's Past realize that years ahead of them the one they chose to be a protector would be perfectly happy as a normal teenager with people who loved him deeply and wanted to be with him for the rest of their lives? Did _they _know how it had torn everyone apart and created a rift that could never be reconciled?

Yeah, it would be so easy to blame him…but she can't. The pack claims that she's making them all miserable with her constantly acidic thoughts, that she should just get over Sam and be done with it. How little they know. She wonders why they don't say anything about Jacob; his thoughts are literally like a living nightmare. Yet none of the boys seem to understand how painful it is to be around Sam at all, let alone be in his head and have to listen to him all the damn time. They don't know how much it hurt to agree to be in their wedding, the wedding where she was supposed to be the blushing bride instead of the bawling bridesmaid.

She feels so bad about it all, but at the same time she knows that it really isn't fair. Her only consolation for the hole in her chest is that she will not back down or allow anyone to see her as weak. She unfolds herself from the crouch she was knelt over in, wipes the tears off her cheeks and continues her mantra:

"_I don't care…"_


End file.
